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Moving to San Diego, California – Living The American Dream?

My Experiences Moving to San Diego

Last June I moved to San Diego. Well, I say “moved to”, but with me you never know if I’m moving to a place or just visiting.

I usually fly somewhere, experience the place for a bit and then decide if I want to stay longer or take the first flight out of there.

But yes, San Diego was a keeper and I think I first heard myself say “I live in San Diego” after less than two months there… So kudos to San Diego because it’s not easy to make me want to stay somewhere!

San Diego is a city on the Pacific coast of California known for its beaches, parks and warm climate. With more than 1.4 million people, San Diego is the eighth-largest city in the United States.

Having just left behind life on the Caribbean island of St. Maarten with a total population of less than 80.000, San Diego came as quite a shock!

But although scary, in many ways starting over can be an amazing adventure. Starting over feels like a chance to reevaluate and reinvent your life: what do you want to do? What do you want your life priorities to be?

You get to think about your life and what you really want out of it… And that is priceless!

So in San Diego I became a woman who focuses on entrepreneurship (it’s such a perfect environment for that!), who goes to the gym five days a week (I hadn’t been to a gym for MANY years!) and enjoys a much healthier lifestyle than my days of ‘drinking on the beach’ in the Caribbean. Side note: drinking on the beach is illegal in San Diego and alcohol is crazy expensive here!!

Tip: If you are thinking about moving to San Diego and just want more info on what San Diego has to offer as a city to live in, check out my other article What Makes San Diego a Great City

What It Felt Like to Move to California From Europe

What moving to California from Europe felt like - moving to San Diego, California

Ok, I came here after living in the Caribbean, but I was born and raised in Europe so I moved here with a European view of California.

And I have to admit, moving to California from Europe was harder than I expected!

It took me a while to get used to the American way of life. Everything is so big, everything is done by car and it’s all about consumption.

The intense patriotism, religion still playing a large role in society, and the endless need to tip… Yes, the cliches are largely true but still it came as a bit of a shock to me how different the American culture is from the European.

I know, saying there is one American culture is generalizing and so is saying there is such a thing as a European culture but I’m sure you kinda get where I’m going.

What Made Moving to San Diego More Difficult Than Expected?

The worst thing is not knowing the rules that everybody around you just takes for granted.

For example, something as simple as getting gas (or petrol, as I still insist on calling it because of my more British experiences). In the Netherlands, you pump gas first and then you pay. You can probably imagine how embarrassed I felt when I was struggling to get gas into my car to only minutes later do the walk of shame into the office and pay before I made a second, more successful attempt to fill up my car.

Or my first American date: we agreed to meet at a restaurant and when I got there the only option to park my car turned out to be Valet parking. So with some hesitation I drove up to the entrance of the restaurant. Trying not to look too clueless I got out of my car and said hello to the guy behind the Valet stand. He gave me a ticket and told me it would be $5, paid afterward.

Ok, so far so good. After an enjoyable date we left the restaurant together and both handed over our parking tickets to the valet-guy. Our cars pulled up and I handed the guy $5 to then see that my date did the same but added a couple of $1 bills… damn! tipping! really?! There goes my great first impression…

When we are trying our best to fit in, and are confused by what is happening, it is often the hardest time to explain that we don’t understand.

I’ve noticed I talk a lot about “how we do things in Europe”. And I sometimes worry if people start to think I don’t like the way things are done in the US or worse, think that I feel Europeans are somehow superior. But it’s not that. I’m just trying to explain my behavior. Why I’ll do things “wrong” or not understand things that seem so obvious to Americans.

It’s difficult sometimes and I think what makes it surprisingly difficult this time (since this is not quite the first time I’ve moved country) is a combination of two things:

1. I Just Didn’t See It Coming!

When moving to India I expected a massive culture shock. So I prepared for it. And yes, it still happened, but I knew it would.

In the US I expected things to be simple and easy for me to understand. And even though in a way they are, and I’ve gotten used to American life in a matter of months, I do still feel like an outsider and every so often something will happen that catches me off guard and I’ll do something stupidly wrong again.

2. Almost Everyone I Spend My Time With in San Diego Is American

And yes, even if they tell you “I’m Irish American” or “my grandfather was born in Mexico” believe me, I don’t know how they do it but within two generations they have made sure their kids are completely Americanized!

And that makes me the outsider.

In other countries I spent much of my time surrounded by expats and even though they came from very diverse countries, including the US, we had this thing of ‘being a foreigner, an outsider’ in common.

Being the only outsider here makes me well, more of an outsider.

Moving to San Diego Has Been Great Though!

All in all, it’s been an amazing ride!

I love how friendly Americans are. Even though Europeans can sometimes see that as fake, just the fact that people talk to you and continue talking to you once they hear your foreign accent makes moving to California from Europe and settling into a new life much easier!

moving to San Diego, California
Going to a baseball game on my birthday… How American! 😉

And then there is San Diego.

Because one thing I have learned in these past few months is that there is no such thing as “American life”. Life in San Diego is very different from life in New York or life in a small town in Florida.

And life in San Diego I happen to really enjoy. The combination of a city vibe and a large beach culture allowing you to wear flip flops almost anywhere suits me well!

San Diegans love the outdoors, are much more casual and laid back than people in LA and they all seem to love their city.

So, yes San Diego, you have stolen a piece of my heart!

Also Read: Interview With an Expat About Living in San Diego

How Did I Move to California from Europe?

moving abroad - moving to San Diego, California
Mission Beach, one of many beaches in San Diego

This time it was relatively easy. My lovely friend Katie lives in San Diego and was kind enough to invite me to come and visit her. She should have known better because if you invite me over and make me like the place I might end up staying! 😉

So all I needed was a return ticket and a quick online application for the Visa Waiver Program. No further visa is needed for citizens from most Western countries, but visit travel.state.gov for more information.

Where normally I either look for volunteer work or a temporary job this time I decided to just enjoy the country and focus on keeping my own online marketing business going.

This in itself was quite a new challenge for me. A job or volunteer work provides you with an instant network of friends or at least a few people to hang out with. This time I largely had to build that network myself.

Use Meetup.com

Meetup.com, a platform I used a few times before in European cities, turned out to be an amazing platform in San Diego.

Meetup is a network of local groups and in San Diego you can pretty much find a group for whatever you are interested in!

Whether you’d like to go hiking, need some people to grab a drink with, want to practice a language… you name it and Meetup will have a group for it!

Often several times a week I’d sign up for an event on Meetup.com. And over time I made some great friends through this network, got to explore San Diego and built quite an enjoyable life in “Sunny California”.

Moving to San Diego, California - moving abroad
I learned to enjoy driving everywhere in San Diego

But, all good things come to an end and while going to the US was so easy for me, actually immigrating to California and obtaining a more permanent visa is not.

I’ve tried, but as a foreigner with a foreign business there aren’t many options to get a long term visa in the US. So I’ve decided to stick with tourist visas.

One thing I do know though: San Diego, I will be back soon!

Want to Learn More About Why Europeans Experience Culture Shock When Moving to the US? Check out These (Funny) Articles:
Thinking About Visiting San Diego or Moving to San Diego? Then Also Read:

Author: Sanne Wesselman
A traveler, wanderer, digital nomad, and entrepreneur. I spend most of my time living and working abroad and visiting destinations all over the world. I use this website to share "the good, the bad and the ugly" of traveling and living abroad. Visit the About Me page for more info.

10 thoughts on “Moving to San Diego, California – Living The American Dream?”

  1. Thanks for sharing your experience. San Diego is really amazing.

    We are having a somewhat reverse situation right now. Me and my small family lived in San Diego area for 15 years and last year decided to move to Switzerland for a couple of years. Our main motivation was to live in a central city where we don’t need to drive anywhere 🙂 Driving really is the most annoying part of living in California.

    We’ve had a great time in Zurich and traveled much and easily around Europe. But now it’s time to go back. We miss the great weather and the beaches. But I wonder if we will get used to the driving culture again.

    My hope is to be able to find a place where we can maybe do most basic activities and chores walking/biking (shops, restaurants, doctor visits, school, beach) In your experience did you find places where this was possible? We are considering La Jolla village but that maybe a bit financially challenging.

    Thanks again for sharing your experience.

    Reply
    • Hi Kasem,

      Life in Europe is definitely very different from life in San Diego! I would say Little Italy is the nicest area to live if you don’t want to drive a lot. There are tons of restaurants there and you can easily walk to Gaslamp Quarter for even more facilities including schools and shops. And you are right by Balboa Park. Out of all the neighborhoods in San Diego Little Italy feels most like a European city center, which is probably why I liked it so much 😉
      Little Italy isn’t cheap though and it isn’t by the beach.

      La Jolla is nice but yes, expensive and there isn’t as much to do so I feel you would want to drive more often when living there.

      Ocean Beach is another area where a lot of people live without a car. It has a nice, laid back neighborhood feel to it and is cheaper than La Jolla and Little Italy. You have to enjoy the more alternative / free-spirited vibe though.

      Reply
    • Hi Kasem,

      I was just in San Diego on holiday visiting relatives and loved driving there. Coming from Europe where there are a lot of narrow roads, it was just a joy driving in San Diego. The beautiful landscapes in California also makes it a joy to drive there.

      I have actually decided to move to California because I just love California and would like to be closer to my relatives.

      Reply
  2. Hi Sanne,
    Thanks so much for you kind reply. It’s very heartening to hear that appreciation for the weather is resilient among people in San Diego. I’ll have to look at Bear Lake, I’m not familiar with it. I hope you’re enjoying your stay in Northern Europe. I was just in southern Italy and Warsaw a few weeks ago, and the weather I experienced in Warsaw sounds like it may be similar to what you’re experiencing now. It certainly was a shock and made me think of both how nice it was near Salerno, Italy and how nice it will be in San Diego. I may end up living in Point Loma myself, my realtor is looking for places for me in Ocean Beach but some of the options are spreading into Point Loma and Sunset Cliffs. I would indeed like to meet you for a coffee in January to hear your additional insights on making the best life in the area, I’m grateful for your perspective. Your blog is a great achievement and something I admire greatly. I’m a journalist (mainly magazines) and have been trying to do more travel writing for a while now, so I keenly appreciate the difficulty and skill involved.
    Thank you again Sanne. Safe travels in Europe, see you in January.
    Best,
    Ron

    Reply
  3. Hi Saane,

    Thanks so much for a great article. After 15 years in New York, I’m moving to Ocean Beach in January and very excited to begin life there. (I traveled to San Diego in August and decided it would be an excellent place to relocate, and very much liked Ocean Beach.) So your article offered a helpful perspective to me.

    A question — does the gorgeous weather become monotonous? This question may seem laughable as I’m largely leaving the east coast due to the weather, but I’m just wondering if your appreciation for the beautiful weather has noticeably faded as you stay there longer.

    Best wishes,

    Ron

    Reply
    • Hi Ron, perfect timing for that question… 😉 I am in Northern Europe at the moment where it has been cold and rainy for the 3 weeks that I have been here… I miss sunny San Diego weather! I think having lived in only sunny destinations for so many years now makes it harder for me to deal with the cold.
      Some people in San Diego miss the seasons but then it’s an easy drive to Big Bear Lake where you do have that. So no, I don’t miss it at all and I love how appreciative most people in San Diego are of the great weather.
      I should be back in San Diego by mid January, staying in Point Loma which is right next to Ocean Beach so if you would like to meet for a coffee or explore the area feel free to send me an email! Good luck with the move!

      Reply
    • Wow! That’s interesting! We do love it so far! A quiet winter is okay as we spend much of it traveling anyway 😉 I will definitely check out your blog on living in Mallorca. Looking forward to reading more posts about your travels 🙂

      Reply
  4. I appreciate this post so very much! I’m an American living abroad for over 14 years now. Arizona was my home but San Diego also had a piece of my heart whereas I spent lots of time growing up and even considered moving there! 🙂 So I totally understand your love for it! My family and I just recently relocated from Germany to Mallorca, Spain. So more adjusting to do but SO worth it! I also love Meetup for socializing! Thanks again for the post!

    Reply

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